Hopes 2nd Gymnastics Competition

This past weekend Hope had her 2nd Gymnastics Competition in Daytona Beach.   We originally were going to make a family weekend trip out of it but since daddy was sick and couldn't go, it ended up being just Hope and I.  We left early on Saturday morning and drove back the same day.  It was a long day but a fun time together.

The competitions are usually two day events that are broken up by level and than age.  So Hope is always competing with her same level girls as well as her age.  There were 8 teams that were participating at this particular time. 

Hopes team "LaFleurs"!

She competing beam first, than floor, vault and lastly bars.  I was only able to get pictures of floor.  The others were too far away for my cheap camera to get a good shot of.   Here are a few pictures of her during her floor routine.  

She was so proud of herself and so was mommy! 

After she competes which usually last about 2 hours they have awards.  The judges at this event were extremely picky and scored very hard at this competition.  So even though her overall score wasn't as good as her first competition she still managed to pull 5th place on vault and 6th place on bars. I was so proud of her!  Here she is getting her vault award.

And here she is getting her bars award.

Hope Maria Newton did great!  Mommy and Daddy are so proud of her!  She has worked so hard and loves doing gymnastics.  One last salute before we hopped in the car for our 3 hour drive home.

Justin has had a couple really good days.  Last Tuesday we had an appointment with the Oncologist at Moffitt.  Justin went in with the hopes of talking the doctor out of doing this treatment so that he could quit it all together.  Its been really rough on him and the side effects haven't given him any type of relief.  After 3 weeks of feeling miserable, hardly being able to breathe, not being able to leave the house, feeling nauseous, fatigue, short temper, sore all over, loosing over 20lbs,  itchy and swollen in the injection site, bleeding gums, and overall feeling like hell he was done!  And this is even WITH getting the vitamin injections twice a week.  So he was planning to go and tell the Oncologist that he was done with the Interferon and was quitting.  Well that's not quite how it went.  She didn't let him off the hook that easy.  After listening to how he was feeling and than reviewing his lab results she told him that first he needed to take a week of.  His labs came back low which means his white and red blood cells were way under so they had him take a week off from the Interferon in hopes that his counts will go back up.  So since he didn't get an Interferon shot last week; by Sunday he was feeling good.  And by Monday (yesterday) he was able to go back to work and work a full 10 hour day.  Its been so nice to have my husband back to normal and feeling good.  It makes us all happy inside. :) 
He had his labs done again yesterday and assuming his counts are back up than he'll start his Interferon shot again tomorrow but they are going to cut the dose in half and hope that his side effects are not quite as bad.  We both are dreading tomorrow.  Its been rough on the treatment and having him feel good the last few days has been so nice.  But we are praying that half the dose will be more tolerable.  And if not than we will re-evaluate it again. 
Also some of you heard that when we saw the Oncologist last week that they noticed a dark spot on his skin graft that they were concerned about being Melanoma.  They decided to biopsy it on the spot.  Justin was NOT the least bit happy about them re cutting on his skin graft.  But the good news is everything came back clear and it wasn't anything to be concerned about.
Thank you for the prayers.  Its been a struggle.  A struggle that we both feel like giving up on and calling it quits.  Life is so much better without Interferon.  But we don't feel God telling us yet to quit but to keep going.  So until he tells us otherwise we will continue.   I told Justin last week.  As much as I want to quit this all together.  I don't feel that God has taught us yet what he wants us to learn.  I'm not sure what that is but I feel that God has a purpose in all of this.  He is stretching us to new levels in our faith and walk with him.  And as hard as this road is I trust that he is going to bring us out stronger at the end of it.   God has continued to provide for us and I thank each one of you that he has used to help us.  Justin made a comment to me last week after another amazing God story.  He said "Well at least I know I'm not going to die through this"  And my reply was "Why do you say that?"  And he said "Because he has shown us too many God stories that I know he'll want me to be able to share with others".  So we are looking forward to the day that he is healed and we can be a witness to someone else because of how amazing our God is! 
Rom 5:3-5 "Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."

Please Pray for a Clear Decision

Sorry I haven’t updated recently.  It takes a lot of time to update the blog and unfortunately “time” is something I’ve been lacking lately.  I feel like I’m a single parent and have a whole new respect for those women out there raising their kids alone.  (Other than I don’t get the “time off” when they are visiting the other parents house. J )  However I’ve had “time off” when they are visiting grandma and grandpa’s house. J  Thanks to them I’ve been able to keep somewhat “sane” during all this.  If it wasn’t for all their help I probably would have gone psycho by now. Lol  

Justin has been on the Interferon for about 3.5 weeks now.  He hates every minute of it!  I think we both went into this blinded and not fully understanding what this drug does and the awful side effects.  Thank you Jesus he hasn’t really been throwing up but has been nauseous.  One of the most frustrating things is he says he wants something to eat so I walk to the kitchen to make it and by the time I finish making it and bring it to him he’s already too nauseous to eat it.  Very frustrating on my end but I try to just smile and say okay baby.  J  He is down about 22pounds since he started 3.5 weeks ago and I’m doing everything I can to fatten him up and keep him from losing weight so rapidly.  He is drinking lots of Boost drinks to help with that.  Fatigue is another big side effect.  He basically hasn’t left the couch since he has started.  A few times he tried to get out of the house but realized that it wasn’t a smart thing to do and since then has basically been just lying around.  Walking to the mailbox is like running a marathon and having a simple conversation with me is like running a mile per Justin.  Yes, I did say just talking takes more energy than he has at times.  He is very short of breath and breathes extremely hard at times.  He says it feels like he’s breathing under water sometimes and can’t get enough oxygen.   Some of the other side effects have been itchy body, cold feet, extremely sore neck and back, hot/cold chills, and not so pleasant moods/emotions are all just some of the side effects he’s been experiencing.

And then there’s my side effects……. Sometimes I think mine are worse than his and I don’t even have an excuse for them.lol  Lots and lots of tears and emotions, exhaustion, face breaking out like I’m 13 years old again and gaining weight because there is no time or energy for me anymore.  Lol We are basically a wreck over here in the Newton Household. Hahaha  

But God’s grace is sufficient and through all of this he has continued to send people and resources our way to bless us beyond our imagination.  I keep thinking, “there’s no way we can be blessed any more than this, and then God does something else amazing.” J   Other than individual people sending encouragement and support our way we’ve also been given more fundraisers for Justin.  One of the more recent fundraiser was my sweet bible study ladies planned a bunko night to raise money for Justin.  Last week God had a huge tree fall down at one of his commercial properties.  Justin was able to sit on his couch and arrange employees to get that tree cut down and hauled away.   I honestly believe God had that tree fall over because he knew we were short some money and he provided it that way.  So through the storm God is continuing to show us his face and provide for us when it seems impossible.   

Justin started getting the vitamin IV twice a week now because once a week just wasn’t doing it.   So even though his side effects have been rough we know that this vitamin IV has helped him cope with it. 

But we are asking for continued prayer.  Prayer that God would give us a clear answer.  We go back to Moffitt tomorrow to see his Oncologist to reevaluate everything.  First of all they want to discuss the Vitamin IV and what exactly is in it because they aren’t sure he should be getting it.  Secondly they want to see him because of his breathing.  I guess that’s not a normal side effect but yet it’s a huge side effect of Justin’s so they want to check him out because of that.  And thirdly Justin is struggling with it all.  He is sick of feeling miserable and a year of this seems unbearable to think about.  He doesn’t understand if they are just doing this to build his immune system to fight off future reoccurrences of the cancer than why he can’t have his immune system built strictly the holistic way.   So basically he wants to quit Interferon.   And only be treated through the holistic doctor and then trust God for his future.   We aren’t sure what the right answer is.   It’s easy for me or anyone else to say “suck it up” but none of us truly understand what Justin is experiencing in his body and mind right now.   So that is why we are asking for continued prayer that God would give us a clear answer tomorrow after we  meet with the Oncologist of what we should be doing. 

I will try to give you an update sooner than later if anything changes.  Thank you for the continued support, encouragement, love and prayers. 

2nd Fundraising Garage Sale

Last weekend we had another very successful garage sale.  Thank you so much to everyone that donated and helped out.  My parents did so much work!  They deserve an extra special thank you!

Here is a picture of Hope and Jayden helping run the sale.  Hope was making duct tape bows to sell and help raise money for her daddy. 

Another big special thank you to my sister Chelsy and her husbnad Jay.  They helped also so so much with the sale.  They live right next door so unfortunately they couldn't get out of it. lol  And sweet Ella was such a good girl like always.  She loves her uncle Justin too! 

And heres my sweet hubby having his share of the sale in the heat.

So all in all it was another very successful sale!  Thank you Jesus!  But the most exciting thing happened when I got home that night and read on facebook that my sweet cousin, Amy, in Indiana and her two kids, John and Kate, had a garage sale also in Indiana that day to help raise money for Justin.  You have no idea  how much that touched us.  Unfortunately we aren't as close as we'd love to be with them just because they live so far away.  We basically keep in contact through Facebook.  I think she has only  meant Justin once on a trip here to Florida a few years back.  So all that to say that she barely even knows Justin but her big, sweet, heart still took a full saturday of her own time and many hours before prepping to get ready for the sale.  All for Justin so that she could send us a check to help out.  You just have no idea how much that touched us!  Thank you so much Amy, John and Kate!  We love you!    

       

Another picture of them in their clean garage!

And now the update on Justin.  This past Wednesday, August 31st, he had another surgery at Moffit to remove two more spots that they are concerned about being Melanoma.  We get the results for those next week.  And than after the surgery he had his first shot of Interferon.  So the poor guy had a rough day.  But rough doesn't even begin to explain how he felt once the Interferon hit him about 6 hours after the shot on Wednesday.  It was a hard night Wednesday night.  I got only 2.5 hours of sleep and I think Justin got even less than that.  I think he experienced every side effect possible for the drug. :(  Around 2am in the middle of the night we were both feeling that this treatment might not work and that we may choose to quit. 

The next morning we had an appointment with Dr. Young, the holistic doctor.  We basically were going there to beg for his help and see if he had any answers for us on what we could do to help relieve Justins side effects.  He told us that he has only had 2 people he knows that have made it through the whole treatment of Interferon because its such a beast.  (At that point we were NOT going to be #3 either) But he said that he could give Justin an IV drip for about an hour of nutrition and vitamins and fluid; all stuff that would help relieve some of his symptoms.  At this point we were willing to do anything.  They hooked him up and we sat and waited.  Let me tell you that Dr. Youngs IV is heaven sent!  It helped Justin soooo much!  He was able to eat a little and keep it down and able to carry on a conversation.  His symptoms became manageable!  Dont get me wrong he has still been sick, but its been a manageable sick.  In other words he doesn't think he's going to die.  And we also feel confident now that we will be able to carry on with his year treatment if we can continue to get the IV from Dr. Young.  Now unfortunately its another expense that is costly.  Dr. Young recommends getting his IV drip 3 times a week; but we are going to try to do it once a week.  Most likely the same day he gets his Interferon shot to help offset the terrible side effects that first day or two.  And let me tell you another God story!  Justin had the miracle IV drip at Dr. Youngs office on Thursday, another expense that we weren't expecting but went ahead with it anyways.  And that afternoon a dear friend of ours sent a card with cash in it.  The amount of the IV treatment that he received earlier that day!  God is good!

Justins eating a little bit here and there and will have some really good moments and than bad ones also.  I asked him earlier what he feels like and he says it feels like I have a really bad case of the flu.  His tummy is nausious and his body aches something terrible.  I've been giving him neck massages but his younger brother Jameson came to his rescue this morning and gave him a long massage.  Thank you so much Jameson!

But lifes exciting. (Hardly! lol)  He moves from the recliner, to the couch, to the bed, and back again.  We are anxiously waiting each new day hoping that it will bring a little bit more relief....at least until Wednesday when he has his next shot. :(

I think one of the hardest things about Justin being sick is that he's going to be missing out on lots of family activities.  Hope had parents night at gymnastics last night.  She did so great!  But after her second routine she ran over to me in the stands and whispered "I wish daddy was here to see me." :(  And tonight we celebrated my 30th birthday at my moms house (even though my birthday isn't for another 10 days).  It was hard not having my best friend, my hubby, at my birthday dinner.  :(  Something I never want to experience again.  But I made it through the night with only one break down in tears. :/

All in all life sucks just about now.  I'm not going to lie.  I'm struggling a lot.  I'm selfishly mad and angry that I have to go through this with my husband at such a young age.  I wish we were going to Labor day parties or trips this weekend instead.  I'm upset that I know the birthday money I got tonight will be going towards something for this family to stay afloat or towards a treatment for Justin; and not a new outfit.  But all these feelings are selfish of me.  I am so incrediablly blessed to even have such an amazing husband who loves me so much to be able to share this trial with him.  I'm so blessed to have such an amazing support system from family, to friends, to even strangers that have touched our lives.  I'm blessed to have Justin here today and 3 healthy precious beautiful kids.  I'm blessed to have a home to live in and not out on the streets this week when its been so rainy and gloomy.  And i'm blessed to have eternity!  And thats what I have to choose to keep refocusing my thoughts on!  So today I thank him for this!

Happy Labor Day weekend!

xoxoxoxoxo