We made it home from a very draining 4 days. Thursday night we packed our bags not only for us but for my 3 babies. My dad was keeping them for the weekend. The kids were so excited since this was a “first” for them. They have never stayed overnight at my dad’s house so they were very enthusiastic about it. Which I’m glad because I don’t think it really phased them that daddy was having surgery the next day and we’d be gone for a few days. My parents, sister and brother-in-law came over that evening to lay hands on Justin and pray for him. And then we laid our kids down and kissed them goodnight and goodbye. We would not be seeing them the next morning since we’d be leaving before they woke. It was hard to pack. Mainly because every time I’ve packed this way was because we were taking a fun family trip. And this time it was for something not so fun. We went to bed around 11pm since we had to be up by 3:15am and leaving the house by 4am in order to get to the hospital in time. Justin slept great! He said it was the best sleep he had in a long time. Praise God! Me on the other hand tossed and turned all night in anticipation. I finally got out of bed around 2:45am and started to get ready. My dad and his wife showed up at 4am. And we headed out.
My first God story of the day happened early Friday morning when we were driving over to Moffitt. We were going over the Howard Franklin and I pulled out our devotion that we do together and read it aloud to him. Right after the devotion Justin said “Wow that was a great one wasn’t it?!” And I agreed with him. It was about learning to let go. Let go of possessions, loved ones, fears, worries, and control. And to relax in God’s presence that he has everything under control and that he is the same yesterday, today and forever. Well the reason this was a God story is because the following day when I opened up the devotion I realized that I had read from the wrong day. I had read the devotion labeled for March 24th instead of February 24th what I should have read. So for giggles I quickly read over February 24th and it wasn’t nearly as meaningful. So God had me open up the devotion and read the wrong days devotion not even knowing it because he knew we’d get more out of the other one. To me that’s just another glimpse of God showing his face and letting me know he is right there by our side always.
So we arrived at Moffitt Cancer Center at 5:15am and checked into pre-op. We were one of the very first ones in the building. As I sat in the pre-op, check in, waiting room I prayed for everyone in there that was going into surgery. That God would give them peace. Because you could see the fear on their faces. Around 5:30am Justin’s name was called to head back. I, being his wife, am allowed to go back with him until right before they roll him away into the surgery room. So we went back together. He was directed to strip of his clothes and to put on his hospital gown. He did that and then crawled up onto the bed as they started to ask him a lot of questions, drew blood, introduced us to his anesthesiologist, the team of doctors that would be working on him, put in his IV and then gave him his happy drugs. He then started to smile and talk about Oompa Loompas from the Wizard of Oz. Why that?..... I’m not sure. But it made him giggle and smile. Within minutes after that I kissed him goodbye and headed out to the waiting room where my mom sat with me for the next 9 hours or so.
The surgery was scheduled to start at 7:15am. They said it should be a 4-5 hour surgery. Not sure if you all remember but the plan was they were going to put him under. Cut out part of his Parotid gland and a lymph node. Send it to pathology while he’s still under anesthesia. If the results came back negative than they would sew him back up and send him home and not do the full surgery. If it was positive than they would proceed with the full lymphectomy. Well half way through the surgery the doctor called me in the waiting room and told me that they cut him open and there was no need to send it to pathology because he could tell by the naked eye that it was cancerous. There were a few big black lymph nodes and then a few more that were a bit enlarged but not black. So they ended up taking out 80% of his parotid gland and all his lymph nodes in the left side of his neck. Not exactly sure why but the 4-5 hour surgery turned into about a 6.5 hour surgery. I sat in that waiting room the whole time. I didn’t want to leave it in fear that they’d call me and I wouldn’t be there. So my mom and I sat, and sat, and sat. We watched people come into surgery and then leave surgery all while we were still sitting there. Thank God for moms because if it wasn’t for her I’d be so lonely sitting there that whole time. Well we finally got the call that the surgery was over. The doctor took us back to the conference room and explained to us everything that went on and what they did. He told us that it was a large amount they took out and they cut through one nerve on his face and then messed around with many others so he’d probably lose sensation or even motor skills for a short time all of which we hope will come back. The doctor told us they are very concerned for Justin. His cancer was very large in the beginning and the fact that it came back so soon, is never a good result. He gave us a 50% mortality rate that Justin will make it 5 years. Well even though the doctor was somewhat somber and not too encouraging I think 50% is pretty dang good. Because with the surgery, treatment, and his diet change I think he’ll be just fine and live a long healthy life. He has too much to live for! There’s not an option here!! J Here’s my picture of giving my husband a thumbs up for being such a trooper! I am your biggest fan sweetheart!
The doctor said goodbye, told us they were stitching him up, and he’d be out soon. Well it was about an hour after that when they called to say surgery was done but we had to wait till he was out of his deep sleep to go back to see him in recovery. So about another hour after that, they FINALLY called to say I could go see him. The nurse walked me back and I got to see my baby. He didn’t know I was there. He was still passed out. But I walked up to him, grabbed his hand and gave him a kiss and told him it’s all over and how I proud I was of him! All with tears dripping down my face. It’s so hard to see the love of your life in that state.
Shortly after that we were moved to our room. Room 544 was our number to our “resort hotel room” we’d be staying in for the next 3 days. Hahaha It was hardly a resort hotel room but at least it was a private room. We had our own bath and I even was given a cot to sleep on. It was the most uncomfortable thing I’ve ever laid on but I was so tired it didn’t even phase me. I slept like a baby. And I was right next to my hubby so that’s all that matter. Despite everything that was going on it was so nice to have special alone time with my love. Even if he was passed out majority of the time. lol
The first 2 days were pretty rough. Justin’s pain medicine wasn’t working for him and he was in a lot of pain and very uncomfortable. They finally switched the pain meds and that helped him tremendously for the last day. It helped enough that we were able to go home. Once they switched his pain meds he also was able to get out of bed to take a short walk down the hallway to the nurses’ station and back. But that wasn’t the easiest walk. Not only because he was using all his energy to make it there and back in the mist of being in pain but he realized his room was right across from the room his dad passed away in 5 years ago. We walked over to it and asked the nurse if we could go into the room. But she said a patient was in there. So we just stood outside of it for a minute and looked at it. His dad was one of the sweetest guys I’d ever meant and it hasn’t been the same since he’s been gone.
Justin had two drains put in, one of which he still has in him. And then his poor face is all stitched up again. But it’s a pretty straight line and I think it’ll heal just fine. He has lost some feeling in certain areas and some movement on the left side of his mouth. But I believe over time it’ll come back. But in the meantime it’s hard for him to open his mouth so he’s not eating too much right now. He also can’t shut his left eye completely anymore. So he has to put eye drops in throughout the day to keep it moist. And then at night he has to put gel in it and tape it shut. So I now get to sleep with a pirate. A sexy pirate at that!
We got to come home yesterday! His recovery time is 4-6 weeks. He goes back tomorrow (Wednesday) to hopefully get the drain taken out. And other than that he just basically sits on the couch. Wipes his eye constantly because they are irritated from it not being able to shut completely, and drinks through a straw. And I get to clean out his drain and make sure it doesn’t get clogged.
Just looking at him makes me want to cry. I wish I could take it all away from him. It’s not fair that he has to go through this. God love him, he’s been through so so much. He’s been so strong and such a trooper. I don’t always understand it. But I have to have faith that God is taking us through this storm together for a purpose.
The kids are doing good. Keegan looked at daddy today and said “boo boo”. Jayden didn’t say too much and Hope said “Mommy, daddy has a tube coming out of his chest!” I wish they didn’t have to see their dad like this. But we just keep reminding them that daddy will be okay!
All the visitors that came to see us. I thank you!!! It’s so hard to keep your spirits up sitting in a hospital room/bed. It gives you a lot of time to think and worry if you let your mind go there. But it seems like we had just enough visitors spaced out well enough to help us make it through those 3 days. So thank you! And all the messages have been so encouraging. As I’ve said before we can’t respond to everyone. But we read everyone’s messages and they keep us going. Supportive family/friends, encouraging words, and most importantly God are all the fuel we need to keep these bodies going and our spirits up when we get discouraged and want to give up. So I thank each of you who have been that encouragement and support to us. We hold you close to our heart!
