Brain Surgery July 3rd, 2012

I’m tired, drained, and emotional spent today and I’ve kept putting off the blog update but this is something little I can give back to all you wonderful people who have been praying for my husband.  I wanted to update you and say thank you so much for the prayers because Justin’s surgery was successful.  Now define successful…..I think my definition of successful has changed within the past year.  But in other words, he made it out of surgery alive even though they had a few scares with his oxygen and they were able to remove the whole tumor without his brain popping out of his head (Yes that was the doctor’s words.  Apparently his brain was trying to come out of his head.   But the doctor said she was somewhat prepared for that to happen so they were able to work quickly, give him some drugs, and keep it contained in his head)  So that is the success.

Monday night before surgery, right before we put the kids down for bed, Justin called me and the three kids out to the living room.  He prayed with us all and for the surgery and then we did communion together as a family of 5.  It was such a special time.

Justin and I went in Tuesday morning with such peace about everything.  Neither of us were scared or anxious and I know it’s because all of you prayer warriors had us lifted up.  We were both in great spirits.  Surgery was about 3 hours long and then he was taken to ICU were he stayed for the night.  Unfortunately I was not allowed to stay in ICU with him so I had to go home alone.   But I was back at his bedside early the next morning as the nurses were preparing to discharge him.  Yes, He went from brain surgery on Tuesday to ICU Tuesday night and by Wednesday mid-day they were sending us home.  I was just as shocked as you probably are reading this that they send cranial surgery patients home within 24 hours.  So after the nurse instructed me with everything that could happen with him and how to handle it and then gave me a list of his medications we were on our way home. 

Recovery hasn’t been easy.  He’s had terrible migraine type headaches, very fatigue and his right eye is spazzing with either loosing part of the vision or seeing flashes or other strange things.  But honestly it’s been the easiest, as far as pain, out of his 3 melanoma surgeries he has had. 

Wednesday when Justin was discharged was Fourth of July.  So he was able to be home with the kids to be part of the 4^th.  My sweet brother in law put on a firework display in our front yard while Justin sat inside and watched through the living room.  Yes this is the second year in a row he’s done this.  Last year we had just gotten home from Justin’s very first melanoma surgery when he had the skin graft.  He watched from the window as well.  We are praying this isn’t a tradition and that next year Justin can be out doing sparklers with the kids and letting off fireworks instead of watching from the window.

What’s next?  Well today we were back at Moffit at 6:45am to have another MRI and then to be fitted for his radiation mask.  This coming Tuesday they will be doing the one time zap of radiation to the tumor that they were not able to operate on.  This one dose of extremely high radiation is supposed to hopefully kill that tumor completely.  In about 3-4 weeks, once he has his staples removed and the surgery sight heals they will than do a five day radiation to the area of the tumor that they did remove during the operation.  This is to kill any of the microscopic malignant cells that could have been on the margins of the tumor that they removed.    And then he will have another pet scan in 3 months.

God has given us both such great peace throughout the whole thing.  But I think we are allowed to have some down days and today was definitely one of them for both of us.  It gets tiring driving an hour numerous, if not every day to Moffit, to sit in a waiting room with a bunch of sickly, bald cancer patients.  It’s hard to be stuck with IV’s numerous times a day and keep the smile on your face.  It’s rough watching your husband be in pain and feel miserable and not be able to do anything for him.  It’s discouraging sitting through appointments on what our next form of treatment or surgery is or our next option to prolong his life just a little bit longer.   It’s hard accepting the fact that this is reality.  And reality is my husband has cancer and we have to talk about what we need to do to prepare me and the kids if Justin were to pass.    But overall we both are doing exceptionally well and I know it’s because all of you have been praying.  We thank you for that!

Here he is right before he was taken back to surgery.

And this is right after surgery.

This is the art of brain surgery. 

Here are a couple pictures from the 4^th of July. 

Now you are probably wondering why Keegan is in Christmas pajamas and Hope looks like her hair hasn’t been brushed all day.  lol I had to giggle that night as I looked down at my kids.  Because those of you who know me well know that I use to be that crazy mom that went all out for holidays; I love holidays.  I always tried to have custom made outfits, yes even the boys, and their hair all done perfectly.  It’s amazing how much my life has changed this past year and Christmas pajamas on the 4^th of July might just explain a little. Lol

I love my sweet kids and some days they are the only thing to keep me going. 

And here’s daddy watching from the window for the second year in a row.  God love him.

I hope you all had a wonderful 4^th of July.  Even though we couldn’t go to the beach, attend any 4^th of July cookouts, or have the cutest custom made 4^th of July outfit; we still had a great evening together as a family.

I struggled to find a bible verse today that I wanted to leave you with, probably because of the mood I was in.  But I think of the one that first came to mind the day of Justins surgery.  It is Psalm 118:24 "This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it."  No matter what our life brings us we have to remember that this is the day that the Lord has made and we are to rejoice and be glad even in the mist of trial.  Yes some days the rejoice is easier than others and honestly today I had to ask God to give me the joy so that I could rejoice today.  And other days, like this past Tuesday, the day of his surgery, I woke up with Joy in my heart and I had no problem rejoicing because I knew God was with my husband through the whole surgery and that everything would be okay.  And it was. So with that I leave you with Joy to rejoice because thats what we are called to do.