Only 7 More Treatments left!

To all my Prayer Warriors…..You can start the hardcore praying now.  Justin is down to a week and a half left of his radiation treatments.  This is a total of 7 more radiation treatments.   May 1^st he will graduate from the radiation department.   And boy that day can’t come soon enough.  To him it feels like a century away!

He has done extremely well considering.  Grant it he has experienced just about every side effect as they mentioned but it’s been mild and bearable.  Or at least he has put on a good front.   And of course some days were easier than other days.  His hair started to come out within about the first week.  So he shaved his whole head even though he has really only lost hair on the side of his head where they are doing the radiation.  He experienced the sores in his mouth and the difficulty swallowing but not because his muscles were weak but more so just because it hurt.  So he has been drinking lots of smoothies and milkshakes and soft food.  He has extreme dry mouth which is more irritating at night because it makes it hard to breathe when your mouth is so dry.  We thank Laura though for bringing him some Biotene which has helped a little bit with the dry mouth.  He also lost his taste buds which was a huge disappointment for him since he loves to eat.  The area that they are radiating is all red like it’s sunburnt and very dry so he keeps Aquaphor on it.  And probably the biggest side effect would be the fatigue.  Extremely tired and worn out which has caused him to spend lots of time in his recliner.  But he has been such a great husband and daddy.  Up until about yesterday he has made sure to still be a part of majority of the family functions and force himself to help out or go out with the family to still try to make things as normal as possible for the kids and I. 

Well his radiation doctor told him that the last few weeks would be the most difficult.  And apparently he wasn’t kidding.  No sooner had Justin been telling a friend on Friday how good he has done and then Saturday came and it all hit him.  The radiation knocked him on his butt yesterday and he’s been down and sick since.  Hope told me this evening as we were coming home; “Wow I can’t believe Daddy hasn’t gotten up today at all, He must feel really sick”.   He hasn’t been able to really eat because he feels so sick and he’s just been laying low.    I know it’s wearing on him emotionally because it definitely is for me and I’m not even the cancer patient.  But I have to say my husband is a trooper.  He has tried so hard to not complain and to still be a help when he can. 

So praise God we have made it this far.  And even though 7 more treatments seem so minimal to you and I; it’s a long road still in his eyes.   It’s a bitter sweet thing that he’s getting so sick.  Its bitter because of the obvious but its sweet because we know the doctor told us it would get bad at the end so that means he is on the home stretch!!

So I ask my prayer warrior friends to please lift him up as I know you have been.  Strength to make it to the end!   He’s almost there!   

Some of you have asked how they do the radiation.  I have a few pictures of Justin that will probably describe it the best.    

Thank you for the continued prayers, support, gifts, and encouragement.  It’s helped us cope during those dark days.  We love you! 

And I leave you with a verse.  I Peter 5:7 “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”  I’m not going to lie.  I’ve had A LOT of anxiety lately.  Anxiety about our current situation, anxiety about my husband and anxiety about what the future holds; just to name a few.   But God has asked that we give those scary anxious thoughts and feelings to him because he cares that much for us.  He wants to hold our burdens and take them away from us.   Sometimes I literally picture myself lifting a very heavy worrisome anxious burden and giving it to him and then taking a deep breath and feeling lighter.  How awesome to know that the God of the universe wants to carry our burdens if we would only let him.

Next Step is Radiation

I can’t believe today is 3 weeks since Justin had his surgery.  God can heal the body so quickly.  Well at least I can say that from looking on the outside.  I’m not sure Justin would feel the same way.   He is still in a lot of pain.  And has some side effects; some of which we hope won’t be permanent and then others that will be permanent.    He definitely has nerve damage on the left side of his mouth which is causing some paralysis with his motor skills of his mouth.  So something as simple as eating has now become a job for him because his mouth doesn’t open as wide which in turn doesn’t make it easy to eat a lot of things.  He also can’t open his mouth as good as he used to, to be able to sing.  For those of you that know my husband you know that he has a heart for music.  He loves playing guitar and singing.  It’s a huge part of his life.  So for him to feel that he has lost the ability to sing like he use to was very discouraging to him.    But I keep reminding him that it’s only been 3 weeks since his surgery.  He has a pretty good chance that nerve will grow back together and won’t have any problems…..but than there’s also a chance it won’t .

His biggest complaint right now is that he’s so stiff he can’t move his neck; and his head, neck and back hurts from being so stiff.  We asked the doctor if he could have a professional message to help loosen him up but he said not till after his radiation.  

But other than that he’s feeling pretty good.  He gets up often now and will help out around the house or go run an errand with me.  But he tries to rest as much as possible per the doctor’s orders.   And his outlook on everything has been amazing!   Don’t let us fool you though, there has definitely been some “down” days and feelings of discouragement for both of us but overall he has handled everything amazingly well!  And he has grown so much more spiritually in the last few weeks that it makes me jealous.  haha  But you can sense the peace and presence of God in him!

So the next step is radiation.  He starts radiation this Wednesday, March 21^st.  He will go 5 days a week for about 6 weeks.    This Friday, March 23^rd he will go to a speech class at Moffitt to teach him how to swallow because one of  the side effects are that he will have difficulty swallowing.  And then there is a whole other list of side effects with the radiation but nothing that he won’t be able to overcome with the Lord. 

And our latest and greatest news is…..NO CHEMO!!!  You have no idea how excited we were when his oncologist said he does not have to do chemo.  It was a breath of fresh air for both of us!  Reason being is because at least 3 of his lymph nodes would have had to test positive to be put on Chemo.  And praise God he doesn’t fall into that qualification!

My faithful friends and family.  We hold you dear to our heart.  You have been used by God to bring to light many things for Justin and I.  One of which is the security knowing that He is always there.  He will always provide and will never leave you!  As much as I find myself doubting that I always want to kick myself because it’s not but hours later and he’s proven Himself once again.  The generosity of you all has left us speechless!  And others of you who have continued to bless us with your words of encouragement and prayers.  Don’t stop.  You have no idea what a few positive words can do.  And then those of you who have blessed us with your service; from cleaning my house, to helping Justin with work and the biggest is taking care of my kids.  I know what a HUGE job that is!  Raising 3 kids is no joke!  Especially when two of them are highly energetic adorable cute boys!  J  He has blessed us with more than we can deserve.  Both of our businesses have continued through all of this and in fact have grown!   And can I give a shout out to Bill.  He has done such a GREAT job running JB Lawns for us!  Thank you Bill!  And thank you all!  We love you and pray that one day God will use us to bless you!   

So our journey isn’t over yet but we can see the light at the end of the tunnel.   And it’s been so neat to see God through this.  He has shown his face so many times that it’s unbelievable.  I wish I could go into detail with all the God stories but I probably need to write a book for that.  Hahaha   Don’t be discouraged!  God is good and He is using my husband for His glory. 

I leave you with a verse:  Psalm 46:10 “Be still, and know that I am God.”  Our lives get so busy and we sometimes forget to just “be still”.  Something I wish I was better at; but I encourage you as I strive to myself to set a few minutes of unhurried time to “be still” before God.  God is good!

Justins 2nd Surgery-February 24th, 2012

We made it home from a very draining 4 days.  Thursday night we packed our bags not only for us but for my 3 babies.  My dad was keeping them for the weekend.  The kids were so excited since this was a “first” for them.  They have never stayed overnight at my dad’s house so they were very enthusiastic about it.  Which I’m glad because I don’t think it really phased them that daddy was having surgery the next day and we’d be gone for a few days.  My parents, sister and brother-in-law came over that evening to lay hands on Justin and pray for him.  And then we laid our kids down and kissed them goodnight and goodbye.  We would not be seeing them the next morning since we’d be leaving before they woke.  It was hard to pack.  Mainly because every time I’ve packed this way was because we were taking a fun family trip.  And this time it was for something not so fun.  We went to bed around 11pm since we had to be up by 3:15am and leaving the house by 4am in order to get to the hospital in time.  Justin slept great!  He said it was the best sleep he had in a long time.  Praise God!  Me on the other hand tossed and turned all night in anticipation.  I finally got out of bed around 2:45am and started to get ready.  My dad and his wife showed up at 4am.  And we headed out. 

My first God story of the day happened early Friday morning when we were driving over to Moffitt.  We were going over the Howard Franklin and I pulled out our devotion that we do together and read it aloud to him.  Right after the devotion Justin said “Wow that was a great one wasn’t it?!”  And I agreed with him.  It was about learning to let go.  Let go of possessions, loved ones, fears, worries, and control.  And to relax in God’s presence that he has everything under control and that he is the same yesterday, today and forever.    Well the reason this was a God story is because the following day when I opened up the devotion I realized that I had read from the wrong day.  I had read the devotion labeled for March 24^th instead of February 24^th what I should have read.  So for giggles I quickly read over February 24^th and it wasn’t nearly as meaningful.  So God had me open up the devotion and read the wrong days devotion not even knowing it because he knew we’d get more out of the other one.  To me that’s just another glimpse of God showing his face and letting me know he is right there by our side always. 

So we arrived at Moffitt Cancer Center at 5:15am and checked into pre-op.  We were one of the very first ones in the building.  As I sat in the pre-op, check in, waiting room I prayed for everyone in there that was going into surgery.  That God would give them peace.  Because you could see the fear on their faces.  Around 5:30am Justin’s name was called to head back.  I, being his wife, am allowed to go back with him until right before they roll him away into the surgery room.  So we went back together.  He was directed to strip of his clothes and to put on his hospital gown.  He did that and then crawled up onto the bed as they started to ask him a lot of questions, drew blood, introduced us to his anesthesiologist, the team of doctors that would be working on him, put in his IV and then gave him his happy drugs.  He then started to smile and talk about Oompa Loompas from the Wizard of Oz.  Why that?..... I’m not sure.   But it made him giggle and smile.  Within minutes after that I kissed him goodbye and headed out to the waiting room where my mom sat with me for the next 9 hours or so.   

The surgery was scheduled to start at 7:15am. They said it should be a 4-5 hour surgery.   Not sure if you all remember but the plan was they were going to put him under.  Cut out part of his Parotid gland and a lymph node.  Send it to pathology while he’s still under anesthesia.  If the results came back negative than they would sew him back up and send him home and not do the full surgery.  If it was positive than they would proceed with the full lymphectomy.  Well half way through the surgery the doctor called me in the waiting room and told me that they cut him open and there was no need to send it to pathology because he could tell by the naked eye that it was cancerous.  There were a few big black lymph nodes and then a few more that were a bit enlarged but not black.  So they ended up taking out 80% of his parotid gland and all his lymph nodes in the left side of his neck.  Not exactly sure why but the 4-5 hour surgery turned into about a 6.5 hour surgery.  I sat in that waiting room the whole time.  I didn’t want to leave it in fear that they’d call me and I wouldn’t be there.  So my mom and I sat, and sat, and sat.  We watched people come into surgery and then leave surgery all while we were still sitting there.  Thank God for moms because if it wasn’t for her I’d be so lonely sitting there that whole time.  Well we finally got the call that the surgery was over.  The doctor took us back to the conference room and explained to us everything that went on and what they did.  He told us that it was a large amount they took out and they cut through one nerve on his face and then messed around with many others so he’d probably lose sensation or even motor skills for a short time all of which we hope will come back.  The doctor told us they are very concerned for Justin.  His cancer was very large in the beginning and the fact that it came back so soon, is never a good result.  He gave us a 50% mortality rate that Justin will make it 5 years.  Well even though the doctor was somewhat somber and not too encouraging I think 50% is pretty dang good.  Because with the surgery, treatment, and his diet change I think he’ll be just fine and live a long healthy life.  He has too much to live for!  There’s not an option here!!  J  Here’s my picture of giving my husband a thumbs up for being such a trooper!  I am your biggest fan sweetheart!

The doctor said goodbye, told us they were stitching him up, and he’d be out soon.  Well it was about an hour after that when they called to say surgery was done but we had to wait till he was out of his deep sleep to go back to see him in recovery.  So about another hour after that, they FINALLY called to say I could go see him.  The nurse walked me back and I got to see my baby.  He didn’t know I was there.  He was still passed out.  But I walked up to him, grabbed his hand and gave him a kiss and told him it’s all over and how I proud I was of him!  All with tears dripping down my face.  It’s so hard to see the love of your life in that state. 

Shortly after that we were moved to our room.  Room 544 was our number to our “resort hotel room” we’d be staying in for the next 3 days.  Hahaha It was hardly a resort hotel room but at least it was a private room.  We had our own bath and I even was given a cot to sleep on.  It was the most uncomfortable thing I’ve ever laid on but I was so tired it didn’t even phase me.  I slept like a baby.  And I was right next to my hubby so that’s all that matter.   Despite everything that was going on it was so nice to have special alone time with my love.  Even if he was passed out majority of the time. lol

The first 2 days were pretty rough.  Justin’s pain medicine wasn’t working for him and he was in a lot of pain and very uncomfortable.  They finally switched the pain meds and that helped him tremendously for the last day. It helped enough that we were able to go home.   Once they switched his pain meds he also was able to get out of bed to take a short walk down the hallway to the nurses’ station and back.  But that wasn’t the easiest walk.  Not only because he was using all his energy to make it there and back in the mist of being in pain but he realized his room was right across from the room his dad passed away in 5 years ago.  We walked over to it and asked the nurse if we could go into the room.  But she said a patient was in there.  So we just stood outside of it for a minute and looked at it.  His dad was one of the sweetest guys I’d ever meant and it hasn’t been the same since he’s been gone.

Justin had two drains put in, one of which he still has in him.  And then his poor face is all stitched up again.  But it’s a pretty straight line and I think it’ll heal just fine.  He has lost some feeling in certain areas and some movement on the left side of his mouth.  But I believe over time it’ll come back.  But in the meantime it’s hard for him to open his mouth so he’s not eating too much right now.  He also can’t shut his left eye completely anymore.  So he has to put eye drops in throughout the day to keep it moist.  And then at night he has to put gel in it and tape it shut.  So I now get to sleep with a pirate.  A sexy pirate at that!

We got to come home yesterday!  His recovery time is 4-6 weeks.  He goes back tomorrow (Wednesday) to hopefully get the drain taken out.  And other than that he just basically sits on the couch.  Wipes his eye constantly because they are irritated from it not being able to shut completely, and drinks through a straw.  And I get to clean out his drain and make sure it doesn’t get clogged. 

Just looking at him makes me want to cry.  I wish I could take it all away from him.  It’s not fair that he has to go through this.  God love him, he’s been through so so much.  He’s been so strong and such a trooper.  I don’t always understand it.  But I have to have faith that God is taking us through this storm together for a purpose.  

The kids are doing good.  Keegan looked at daddy today and said “boo boo”.  Jayden didn’t say too much and Hope said “Mommy, daddy has a tube coming out of his chest!”    I wish they didn’t have to see their dad like this.  But we just keep reminding them that daddy will be okay!

All the visitors that came to see us.  I thank you!!!  It’s so hard to keep your spirits up sitting in a hospital room/bed.   It gives you a lot of time to think and worry if you let your mind go there.  But it seems like we had just enough visitors spaced out well enough to help us make it through those 3 days.  So thank you!  And all the messages have been so encouraging.  As I’ve said before we can’t respond to everyone.  But we read everyone’s messages and they keep us going.  Supportive family/friends, encouraging words, and most importantly God are all the fuel we need to keep these bodies going and our spirits up when we get discouraged and want to give up.  So I thank each of you who have been that encouragement and support to us.  We hold you close to our heart!

My heart...

Can I be honest with you for a minute….  Yes, I would probably be lying if I said we aren't starting to get anxious.  I had a friend tell me today that I don't seem like the type of girl who gets anxious or worries.  hahaha I’m glad I’m putting on a good front. :)  But actually I think we both have been handling it very well.  And it’s only because of our Savior!  But we are getting down to the last few days and Satan is starting to attack. He starts in the head.  He’s like a nagging fly that just won’t go away until you literally slap him with a fly swatter.  He knows just how to attack us and what our weaknesses are.  I have been struggling with discontentment with where my life is right now.  I have thoughts like it’s not fair my husband is sick.  It’s not fair we have to spend so much time at Moffitt.  It’s not fair that we have to be extra conservative with our money because we don't know what the future holds for Justin, It’s not fair that other people are buying houses, new cars, taking fun vacations, etc. all while I’m spending my time and energy on Cancer and learning more than I would have wished too at 30 years old.  But all of those are lies from Satan.  And he loves it when we start to consume our thoughts with things that aren't from our Heavenly Father.  He likes it when we allow him in our life and start to get upset or discontented.  So it’s at times like these that I have to continually be talking to God all day.  Slapping Satan in the face and saying "I rebuke that thought and get out of my head Satan!"  Begging for Gods peace and security.   But isn't it sad that it sometimes takes such difficult trials in our life to really grab ahold of God with every last bit of energy we have.  This is what God desires of us.  He is a jealous God who wants all of our attention.   He wants us to be in constant communication with him throughout every day of our lives.  Not just when we need something.  He wants to be our best friend in good times and in rough times.  He loves and adores us. And he is bigger than any trial, problem, or worry that we face. 

So today I’m choosing to kick Satan out of my head and have faith in the creator of the earth. 

I know many of you reading this are going through much more difficult times than ours.  I know our trial is just a minute compared to some of you.  So stay strong.  Don’t give up.  Hang tight to your Lord n Savior and I promise he won't let you down.  Satan is real, and when he starts to attack your mind, kick him out!  And ask God to wrap you in his arms and to give you peace and I promise he will.   And when that happens you will feel more blessed and content and loved than you could ever imagine. 

And more importantly today I’m choosing to thank God for this trial.  Because it’s through this trial that I’m learning what it means to completely rely on God and to feel his security.  And that’s what feeling blessed is all about!

A few verses that I want to share with you that have helped me through this time:

Psalm 27:1 "The Lord is my light and my salvation-whom shall I fear?  The Lord is the stronghold of my life-of whom shall I be afraid?"

I Peter 5:7 "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."

Lamentations 3:22-25 "Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him, The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him."

Nemeth 8:10  "Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength."

Isaiah 41:10 "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Romans 8:28  "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

Romans 15:13 "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

Romans 5:3-5  "Not only so, but we also rejoice in our suffering, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."

Getting ready for another surgery

Wow it’s been a while since I’ve updated.  Life is busy and by the time I get a chance to sit down I’m usually so exhausted I fall asleep or I just want to stare at the wall in silence. Hahaha  The last month has been once again a whirlwind.  But God is good!  And wasn’t my sweet husbands post a month ago great! I was too tired that night to update so he did it for me.  He’s awesome!  Anyhow as you all know Justin had his first pet scan since he finished his Interferon.  He had been feeling great and we both strongly felt that the chapter of life titled “Cancer” was all behind us.  We were pretty confident that the results would come back negative and we’d go about our busy lives.  But apparently that wasn’t Gods plan. 

The PET scan showed the cancer had spread to at least one of his lymph nodes.   He had a MRI done which also showed the cancer in the lymph node but that it had NOT gone to his brain which was refreshing news!  And then lastly he had a procedure done where they stick a big needle into his neck to test the lymph node and to our surprise it came back Negative!  Which left the doctor scratching his head and us completely confused.  Basically what they told us is that the Pet Scan and MRI are most accurate.  They said the procedure done with the big needle isn’t very accurate because sometimes it’s not getting to the exact location.  But for Justin and I, it’s a tiny bit of hope that we are hanging on to.

So what’s next since two test came back positive and one came back negative???  Surgery.  February 24^th he is scheduled for a five hour surgery starting at 7am at Moffitt.  While he’s under anesthesia they will take a portion of the lymph nodes and test it in-house while he’s still asleep.   If the test results come back positive than they will proceed with the big surgery of taking out all his lymph nodes in his neck in that area as well as possibly taking out part or all of his saliva gland.  He will have a drain put in and will be in the hospital for 2 nights.   There will be possible nerve damage.    However If the test come back negative they will sew him back up and send him home.  But the doctor said don’t be surprised if we send you home telling you its negative and you don’t have to have surgery but then call you a couple days later and say “whoops, its actually positive and you have to come back in for the surgery”.  The doctor said this type of cancer is very very hard to test in-house in a short amount of time so the results they get immediately are preliminary results.  And you don’t get a true reading for a few days. 

Soooo our first prayer request would be that whatever the result is that it’s taken care of on Friday, February 24^th.  Justin’s been through so much and I’d hate for him to go into surgery, be cut open, sent home and then have to go back a few days later to be cut back open and have major surgery. 

Secondly we are continuing to pray that the MRI and PET scan results were inaccurate and that it’s NOT cancer in his lymph nodes but a fluke reading.

Thirdly for a speedy recovery whatever the end result is.

In the meantime we are trying to make the best decisions for our family and that has enlightened us to our not so healthy eating habits.  I was raised a vegetarian, eating organic fruits and veggies and tofu. Lol  But never really realized the importance of it.  I’ve slacked over the years in my eating habits and I’m ashamed to say I’ve been guilty of feeding my family more of a convenient food menu than what might be best for them.  Justin and I have learned so much about what is in food and how foods affect everything from health, allergies, moods, diseases, etc.  We’ve even learned that God intended us to eat fruits and veggies.  Plant based foods.  It wasn’t till the fall of Adam and Eve that things changed and even more so in the New Testament when meat was introduced.  And over the years it’s gotten worse and worse with our processed foods and what’s allowed to be in it.  It’s amazing that any of us are even alive!  But with all that being said we also believe it’s a balance.  No we aren’t going to say we will never eat meat again or sugar or anything unhealthy.    But we will try to be more cautious about how often we put those type of foods into our bodies and trying to fill them more often with the healthy choices.

All of this is a result of lots of research.  In the last month we’ve been to more doctors’ appointments than we want to, read many articles, books, talked with numerous different people all trying to make the best decision for Justin’s life.  We’ve seen both extremes of both sides from the holistic natural world who is begging for Justin not to have the surgery and then to the complete other world that says you don’t have any other option but to have the surgery.  Justin is considered a stage 3 cancer patient at this point.  His statistics making it 2 to even 5 years aren’t comforting to say the least.  So we want to do Everything possible to prolong his life.  We aren’t choosing one side over the other but pulling a little from both sides and trying to make the most logical decision for Justin and his life.  Which has brought us to the decision of having the surgery at Moffitt as well as making better health food choices.   

Let me tell you it’s not easy!  It’s quite overwhelming.  But our decision doesn’t have to be what you think is best.  But please know that our decision has been made with lots of research and prayer.  And it’s what we feel is best for Justin and our family.  We aren’t here to convince you of anything but only ask that you not make any judgment on what we have chosen to do.   It’s not easy but its where God has lead us for right now.

I have a lot to get done before Friday so I best get going.  But I will update you again after the surgery.  I thank you again for your continued love, support and prayers.  God has blessed us more than we could have imagined and we give him the glory through it all.  With Faith all things are possible!   And I have faith that God is in the process of healing my husband 100%

P.S. My mom, sisters, and I have started a fun blog called Healthy Living in High Heels where we are going to try to post some of the vegan and healthy recipes we make.   Its brand new but it has a few post on it and we will continue to post on it if you’d like to check it out.  www.healthylivinginhighheels.blogspot.com

Love to you all!

Autumn

Pet scan

So as my wife is tired and does not want to sit here and type tonight I have been given the task of updating the blog tonight.  I will not be as good as she is I am sure with the details but I will certainly try my best.  I would first like to say thank you to all of you have been praying for me and my family.  It has been a huge blessing to us, more than any of you will ever realize.  The compassion that we have been shown by friends, family, and complete strangers has simply been overwhelming.  I can’t in words express my gratitude to each and every one of you, and I pray that you will each be blessed in some special way for your thoughtfulness. 

So last week I was given a pet scan to check up on the melanoma.  They wanted to see if I had any cancer left in my body and thought this was the best way to see it. Autumn and I went into this appointment today to get the results fully expecting the results to be that it was gone and that we could begin to move past this nightmare that has been the last year.   Well that didn’t happen lol.  The doctor walked in wearing a mask explaining that she had a cold and for my protection she would leave it on.  I found that odd, and told her not to worry about it I felt great.  She then proceeded to explain that the scan has shown that I still have cancer present in at least one node in my neck, and that I would need further treatment and surgery.  I am scheduled to meet with a surgeon tomorrow afternoon and have a MRI on Friday to confirm location.  They are planning to take the rest of the nodes in my neck as well as the gland that produces the saliva on one side.  It will require a night or two in the hospital as I will have a drain installed to drain fluid after the surgery.    

I am not really sure any more details other than that currently but I am sure my beautiful bride will update you as soon as there is something else to say….i would ask that you pray specifically for my wife and kids.  I want you all to know that I am in great spirits and am confident that I will work thru all of this without a problem, My God has proven Himself faithful to me at every twist and turn, even when I wasn’t expecting Him to….My prayers are for them and that they will have the same peace that I have been given today.  I would also ask that your prayer for me would be that God show me clearly the path that He has for my life.  I want to make sure that I am in His will for my life, that I am walking in a way that He would have me walk, and that I am doing the things that he would have me do.  Thank you all again for your support….Justin

Goodbye 2011 and Hello 2012!

I can’t believe Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas has come and gone since the last time I blogged.  Oh and our 8 year anniversary.  Yes 8 years!  I can’t believe I’ve been married to my best friend for 8 years already.  It feels like just yesterday I was walking down the aisle.   And I’m not sure I would have called him my best friend all those 8 years.  Lol  Yes there’s no secrets that we had our trials in our marriage but we both stuck it out and were committed to working through all of the crap and we are so thankful we did.  Because if you ask me we are crazy about each other now. J  And coocoo in love. J

Tomorrow will be 6 months since Justin had his surgery at Moffitt.  I can’t believe 6 months ago tonight we were heading to bed in fear of the unknown and what life was about to hand us.  I feel like we were somewhat naive little kids without a clue as to what we were about to face.  Yet still very scared of what the future held.  6 months ago tonight we were heading to bed ready to face one of our biggest challenges in life thus far.  However tonight, 6 months later, we are heading to bed with the security that God brought us through and stood by us through it all.  He carried us when neither of us had the strength.  He was faithful as always. 

Justin is doing great.  It’s been a little over 8 weeks since he quit Interferon.  He is feeling much better.   Some of his side effects have lingered.  He is still losing hair.  It took a toll on us both emotionally.  And he still isn’t feeling 100% yet.  They have done blood work on him thinking it was his thyroid but it wasn’t.  There’s not much more they can do until he has his next scans on January 12^th.   We both still feel very strongly that quitting Interferon was the best decision.   Nobody can fully understand the effects of it until they’ve been through it.  And even I being by his side can’t fully understand what he went through.  What I saw with my eyes though it was brutal. 

The kids are doing great.  Jayden was struggling in school and his behavior improved tremendously once Justin quit the treatment.  We never realized how much it was effecting the kids that daddy was sick.  But they are doing much better.  Looking back I have no idea how we survived financially other than God.  I can’t tell you the amount of people he placed in our life to bless us.  I still look back in awe of his faithfulness even in the finances when it seemed impossible.  Justins business has continued to flourish and God has blessed us with a great employee who has done an amazing job at running the business for Justin. 

I feel so blessed by the amount of quality time that God gave Justin and I together the last 6 months.  We have spent almost every single day together majority of the day.  We do just about everything together.  God took a very challenging trial in our life to not only grow us closer to him individually but also as a couple.  We set our alarm every morning to have an intimate time together doing devotions and praying as a couple.  We strive to have him the center of our marriage and the center of our home.   I can’t say the road was easy.   I can’t say we kept our eyes on him through it all.  I can’t say we didn’t doubt him and weren’t angry with him at times.  But I can say that looking back God was in the center of it all and he never let us go.  He was faithful and loved us through it all.   

Justin is still getting his vitamin infusions and he goes back January 12^th for a PET scan.  Yes there’s still fear.  Fear that the cancer will have come back.  Justin made a comment to me this past month that this could be his last Christmas with us.  I have peace that God has removed his cancer from his body FOREVER!  But I know Justin still struggles with it.  He still looks at his kids and thinks that he won’t see them grow up.  But I continue to remind him that we have to look at how faithful God has been up until this point.  He isn’t going to fail us now.    And even though much good came out of the last 6 months we are both looking forward to saying goodbye to 2011 and Hello to a happy and healthy 2012!   Please keep us in your prayers for his PET scan on January 12^th.  We love you all and Happy New Year!!!