Its been a long long long day but we made it home safely and Justin is passed out at the moment on the couch. We are so blessed by so many phone calls, emails, texts, facebook messages, etc that we received today. I wish I could have responded to each and every one of you but it was quite overwhelming. So please don't take it personally if I didn't get back to you but know that we did receive it and we thank you. We can't thank you enough for being such an encouragement and prayer warrior for us.
We left the house around 8am this morning. We both got a little sleep last night. I tossed and turned. Justin might have gotten a few hours if he was lucky. But we woke and were ready to face the big day ahead. My mom gave us a great devotional that we both have loved. I brought that along with us and I read to Justin in the car as we drove over. Gods presence is amazing. I could feel his presence in the car with us as we drove over and as I was reading to him. We than listened to some christian music that a sweet friend burned for us on a CD to listen to. We talked about how blessed we were to have such great people in our lives to carry this burden with us. You all have touched us in one way or another. And I thank you for that.
We arrived at Moffitt at 9am for pre-op appointments before his 1pm scheduled surgery. I thought the morning would drag by but it literally flew by. This first picture is of Justin when we first arrived this morning. He is watching a movie on his IPad. He literally watched it for about 4 minutes before he was called into the first appointment and it was back to back appointments from there on out with no time to watch any more movies. :)
His first appointment consisted of them putting a needle into his head where they injected some dye to see the pattern of the lymph nodes from the infected cancerous spot. They marked the first 4 lymphnodes in his neck with a marker and than a fifth lymphnode on his chest. The markings on his outer skin with the marker showed the surgeon which location of lymphnodes they would be removing to biopsy. This took a little over an hour to be done. So it gave me time in the waiting room to read my devotions and shed some tears so that I could be strong for him the rest of the day; which I was. I just needed a little time to myself to release some tears and than I felt like superwoman the rest of the day and could handle this. :)
The next picture is Justin in the pre-surgery room where he was stripped down to a gown and hooked up to lots of IV's getting ready for surgery. He is watching TV so thats why you can't see his face. He prob was annoyed with me at this point with me taking pictures. :) But don't worry I had his consent first. :)
After he was all hooked up and ready and after we meant with all the different doctors and nurses I kissed him goodbye and they rolled him away to go into surgery promptly at 1pm. The surgeon told me it would take about an hour however it was more like 2 hours. I think that was the longest 2 hours of the day. I sat in the waiting room with some family and kept watching my clock. But still feeling strong. But yet very nervous of the outcome.
About 3:05pm they called me to come see the doctor and than meet Justin in recovery. I briefly spoke to the doctor. He told me they removed all 4 lympnodes in his neck. The 1 lympnode on his chest they cut him open and noticed it was behind a bone which was difficult to get to so they decided to leave that one in place for now. They than cut out the area on his face which was large enough that he did have to have the skin graft done. No, they did not take skin from his butt so you all can't call him buttface. :) They took the skin from his thigh. The doctor said it will all be sent out for testing and we will know at our next appointment which is July 8th if the cancer has spread to the lympnodes. I asked the doctor what his gut feeling was and like many doctors they don't want to give you a straight answer but some vague response. He said until they look into the area microscopicly they can't tell if the lympnodes have cancer or not. However our prayer is that they have NOT moved to the lymphnodes and this will be his last surgery. However if they have moved than we'll discuss other treatments like radiation/chemo.
The doctor than took me into recovery to see Justin. He was still passed out at this point and hadn't woken up yet from the surgery. I walked in and saw my sweet husband and instantly wanted to vomit and start crying. Its so hard to see someone you love so much be in so much pain and hurt. But I knew I couldn't break down and I had to continue to be strong. I walked over and gave him a kiss and held his arm waiting for him to wake up. I wanted to be the first face he saw when he peeked an eye open. He finally woke up enough for the nurse to prop him up and start getting him ready to head out the door. I honestly can not believe how fast they push you out. I meant with his social worker, got instructions from his nurse and we were on our way out the door. I have to be honest it was a little scary. I felt my hubby was still in lala land and I was now responsible for him! How was I going to get him in and out of the car........
Here is a picture of him as we were leaving Moffitt.
Well I passed the first test and I got him into the car. I hardly made it out of the parking lot and he says he wants Krystals. I looked at him and laughed and said I don't think so. He insisted that we stop and get him Krystals. So being the great wife I am, we headed straight to Krystals to get him 4 handburgers; however he only ate half of one of them and than passed out again. I slowly drove home in the monsoon rain storm during rush hour traffic praying that God will give me the strength to be the best nurse I can to him. And thanking him that we made it through the day. About 10 minutes before we get home he wakes up and starts dry heaving into a bucket in the car. I didn't want to say "maybe you shouldn't have ate Krystals!"......instead I kept my mouth shut and rubbed his back with one hand while driving with the other hand and praying he doesn't vommit all over my car. I think that might be my limit of being superwoman. Thankfully once again God heard my prayer and the dryheaving never progressed to anything else. :)
We made it home and were welcomed by a sweet sign on the front door and banners and balloons from our three precious babies. Mommy broke down in tears with just the thought that my 3 precious babies have a daddy who has cancer but all they know is he had surgery on a booboo because we don't want to scare them. They know their papaw died from cancer and I don't want them to think that just because papaw died from cancer doesn't mean that's going to happen to daddy. I don't want them to live in fear but to only have happy thoughts in a carefree world at ages 7, 4 and 18 months.
So sweet. Our kiddies were busy today with grandma!
And here is my superhero. All bandaged up and passed out. He was such a trooper today. And I was so proud of him! He had such great spirits and was talking and joking with all the nurses and workers and everyone around him. He brought joy to many people at Moffitt today.
Here is a picture of his leg where the skin graft was taken from. He keeps saying it feels like its on fire. The nurse said it basically feels like a really bad burn. And not only that but it'll ooze like a bad burn. We have to wrap it in a diaper with the bandage over it and they said its normal to soak through the diaper with ooze......Yummy!........
My sweet hubby. I love him so much. Its been such a long long day but we are home where we feel safe and the long awaited surgery day has finally come to an end. Now its all on me to take care of him. I'm the nurse on duty. But i'm exhausted myself. And its going to be a long night of waking every few hours to give him medicine and console his pain......kinda like having an infant again.....But i'm happy to do it. Theres nothing more in the world i'd want to do but be right by his side. Thank you to my family for keeping my 3 precious babies so I have all the strength and attention for Justin. Thank you again family and friends. You all are great!
Our next appointment is on July 8th, next Friday, and we will get the biopsy results then. Its scary thinking about it. Of course the worst goes through my head..... But i'm staying positive that the lymphnodes will come back clear and that we can only go uphill from today. We do have the Ultimate Healer on our side! So I'm staying confident with that. :)
Good Night. XOXOXOX
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