So heres our journey up the mountain:
My last post was 9 days ago when we came home from Justins surgery. I guess neither of us knew what the next week ahead was going to hold. I left the hospital with my hubby and a sheet of paper with instructions of how I was suppose to take care of him the next week. I felt fairly confident in myself that I could handle this on my own and that I didn't need to have home healthcare visit us every day. My step by step instructions seemed very manageable and I was feeling good about all this.........until we unwrapped his bandages about 36 hours later....
Day 1:
So late Friday night I made the first phone call to the doctor. His head and legs were wrapped numerous times so I wasn't sure how many layers I was going to have to take off. I also wasn't sure if he could shower or get it wet or.....I was freaking out! But with my hubbys help and a little help from the doctor, who seemed very irritated I was calling him on a Friday night, we figured it out. Lets just say I prob should've had home healthcare come to the house and handle the dressing changes every day.
Day 2-3:
My older sister was in town from Tennessee with her kids just for the weekend. Originally my mom was taking the whole family to the Nickelodeon hotel for the 4th of July weekend but with Justins surgery we had to cancel. I tried to spend a little time with her inbetween my nurse duties. Between the pain meds and the antibiotics we were setting the alarm about every 2 hours for him to take another pill. Yes, even during the night we were waking every two hours to take medicine for the whole week. It was like having an infant again. :)
Day 4:
Monday was the 4th of July, it was alittle different 4th this year. Instead of having bar-b-ques, picnics, beachtime, pool, sun, family and friends we were dealing with cancer. But my family is awesome and instead of going somewhere fun to watch the fireworks they came over to my house and my brother-in-law and step dad put on a firework display in our front yard so that Justin could watch from inside through the window.
Did I mention yet how awesome my family is. I don't think I would've been able to handle this "sanely" without their help. My mom kept the kids prettty much all week so that Justin could have a quiet house. Not only that, but for those of you who don't know, my mom and one of my sisters Chelsy live in my neighborhood, one street over. So there were many times during the week i'd jump in the car and drive over to moms house to just cry. Let out lots of tears. And every time my family was there to let me cry, hug me, and encourage me. I wanted to try to stay as strong as I could in front of Justin because he needed my strength.
Day 6-7:
My hubby was a wonderful patient! He didn't whine, complain, cry, yell, act irritated or any of the above! All of which I prob would've done if I was the patient. He handled this situation and the week very well. However those last two days he started to feel a little better and started to get a bit stir crazy. So Thursday morning he woke and moved to the couch. Yes, all week his pattern was couch, bed, couch, bed, couch ,bed. Not much else he could do. And by Thursday morning my sweet husband was starting to get stir crazy and anxious about the results we'd get on Friday. So I told him to call the doctor to see if they'd give the results over the phone. He didn't want to because he thought they wouldn't but I insisted that he'd call. By now the doctor was prob already irritated with me from calling like 3-4 times in the last week, so who cares about one more phone call. lol. He spoke to the nurse and after being put on hold for like 1 minute even though it seemed like 20 minutes she came back to the line and told us everything came back CLEAR!!! He hung up and we both smiled and said Thank you Jesus!!! We both just felt a huge burden released to God. I'm still thanking him for the wonderful news!
Day 8:
We woke up feeling great about life and about his appointment that morning. We felt that God had answered our prayers that he was now cancer free and that his lymphnodes were clear. And now they were going to take off the bandages and all would be good in life. Well it went somewhat that way but not quite. The nurse removed all of Justins bandages and the doctor told us he couldn't explain our situation. He said that he didn't want to alarm us earlier but if we went by text book, Justins case would have definately without a doubt been a case that the cancer would've moved to his lymphnodes. The amount that he cut out was even larger than what they originally thought and he said he can't believe that it didn't move to his lymphnodes. Justin replied to the doctor and told him it was the "power of prayer". He said he's had so many people praying for him. The doctor obviously wasn't a believer because he just rolled his eyes. (So lets add him to our prayer list, his salvation.) But the bottom line is God performed a miracle on my husband and stopped the cancer from moving to his lymphnodes when it technically should have. However because of how large of an area and deep his cancer was he is requiring Justin to see an oncologist to discuss possible further treatment. The nurse removed his bandages and we were on our way home. Well if only it was that easy..........It was hard for us both to see the skin graft and permanent scars that the cancer left. Even though my sexy handsome beautiful husband is still perfect in my eyes he's not perfect in his eyes and I feel his discomfort. He's still not ready to leave the house or be seen in public because of the insecurity of the way his face looks now. So i'm here for him, loving him and accepting that it may take a little time but also praying for his self confidence. My sister gave him such sweet encouraging words....She said..."You are a handsome man of God. Even though it seems hard right now, it is an honor to be used as God's testimony. God chose You, his faithful son, to use as a testimony to others. A testimony of healing, faith, hope, trust, and His miraculous work. In Jesus' human mindstate, He probably would say that Good Friday was a good day, except for the way he looked. He was left with scars from the nails and crown of thorns. Yet the reason behind his scars far outweighed His actual scars. Same for you, precious Justin. Praise God for your beautiful mark of healing. Love you!" She couldn't have put it any more clearer. (don't I just have an amazing family.) God chose my husband to be used as a testimony of his faith. What an honor!
So that was a glimpse of the past 8 days. Its still somewhat of a blur. Somes days were great! Other days were more challenging and emotional. But everyday God showed himself to us. I wish I could just tell you all each and every way he showed his face to us this last week. And how he has taken care of us beyond what we deserve. I once again thank you all for your love, support and most of all prayers. Your prayers have been heard and answered by God!
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